As if meeting the crazies of Boston wasn't enough, now I'll be working for them too. After a three hour interview, my future boss asked, "If you were an animal, which animal would you be?" I was desperately trying to be professional and all I could think was, "Don't say liger, don't say liger, I hate that movie, don't say liger"...and so I said, "A dog." Why? "Because I have a dog and they're nice." I have since learned that John Kerry's wife said something to that effect at some kind of political function. Well, it didn't score me any points either and the interviewer said as much, so I rolled my eyes and said, "What, did you want me to say liger?" and now I have a job on Monday.

Since the novelty of meeting all the crazies of Boston hasn't worn off for me yet, I got pretty excited about meeting my new friend Jesse on my first trip using the subway. Jesse and I hit it off immediately because he works for the local hip hop radio station, and I, being from the ghetto of Utah, am aware of hip hop. We talked about a lot of hip hop stuff and then we talked about Utah and Mormons. Then, when I got to my stop, my best friend Jesse got off the stop with me, walked me to where I needed to be, and then, since I had about an hour to kill, took me all over the city. While walking around, Jesse had one cup of coffee, one cigarette, one red bull, and one Pepsi, which helped me understand how people on the East Coast can act like they're on speed at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. We talked about welfare reform and baseball. He showed me where he had pins put into his knuckles after breaking them in a fight. It was a great time. When he gave me his number, I expressed to him the idea, that I wouldn't be having sex, and that I don't drink alcohol. I also felt it was necessary to tell him I don't do drugs either, because at one point during our little outing, someone called him to see if he could get some weed. To his credit, he said he wasn't into that anymore. Still, I am seriously considering calling him because I think he would be impressed with my vintage blue jumpsuit and my stirring rendition of "Shoop." Also because he gave me some cool rap cd's, and that is the way to my heart.

Since moving to Boston a few weeks ago, my life no longer consists of paragraph sized quirky experiences and life lessons. It's now just one big run-on sentence of completely mind boggling weirdness. However, I think a lot of my problems out here could be solved, or prevented with a simple T-shirt design that says:

"I don't drink coffee or alcohol. I don't have sex. No, really."

If I had a shirt like that, I would wear it with a little ruffled mini skirt, because that's what all the kids are wearing out here and a trucker hat that says, "The Red Sox? They're a basketball team, right?"

Other T-shirt ideas include:

"I'm lost."
"I only talk to people who go to Worcester State."
"I always wondered what I'd look like with really really frizzy curly hair."

Everyone here thinks I'm from the South, even though I tell them I'm from Utah. To New Englanders, every other state IS the South or California. But then I remember that I can drive across their tiny little state in like a half an hour, and it makes me feel better.