Just a heads up

If you have nothing to do on a Saturday night, so you go rent a movie, and you think about watching The Hours but decide not to because you're not really up for all the homosexuality, at least not tonight and so you pick another movie, maybe don't go picking Far From Heaven instead. I would rather have watched The Hours seven times over. Or if I had to pick my favorite gay movie, I would probably choose Some Like It Hot. Tony Curtis in drag looks just like my Relief Society President.

Today I had some problems using my card at the gas station. I tried no less than 300 hundred billion times to swipe my card and it wouldn't work. Finally Conoco took pity on me and sent out an attendant. I was completely grateful for the help of the dirty, greasy 50-year-old man. He took hold of my card, licked the magnetic strip with his bare tongue, and swiped it. Which immediately caused me to think, "Do you know where that card's been?" However, when he handed me back my card, I thought about how willing he was to lick a complete stranger's visa card, and wondered how often he has done this. Maybe it's the only thing he does all day. So when he handed me my card, I thought, "Um do I know where that tongue has been?"

Whenever I start asking myself why I gave up a budding journalism career for the adrenaline rush of a job I have now involving general ledgers and journal entries, I direct myself here.


And if anyone ever says to me, "Is there anything you can't do," they will probably be directed there too.

Have you ever thought to yourself, "What's that one Up Too Late address? I know there's a 'carolyn' but there's also a number 42, or 79, or maybe 96, and then there's a letter, b, or q, or ~, or something." And then you become frustrated and throw your computer out the window, or you end up looking at some other site, but it's just not the same because the colors won't change.

Well, your cries have not fallen on deaf ears. Starting next week or sometime, my website address is going to be cool...but not if I'm the one who comes up with it.

So send me all your ideas, unless you like alfalfa.blogspot.com or flossin'.blogspot.com. There could be some sex chocolates in it for the winner.

Some things I know off the top of my head.

- One KFC Tender Roast Combo with potato wedges and Code Red plus tax is $5.14
- Two Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers and a sour cream 'n' chives potato plus tax is $3.19
- or Two Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers and a small Frosty plus tax is $3.19
- Fazoli's Four Cheese and Tomato with two breadsticks and water plus tax is $3.21
- Kneaders Classic Turkey on Fococcia plus tax is $5.78

Some things I don't know off the top of my head.

- The price of anything from the meat, produce or dairy section of a given supermarket
- Calculus
- How to "brown" hamburger
- Why people like the Counting Crows

This weekend I officially become "as old as the hills." I'll let you know how it turns out.