I went to a concert with some of my friends. One of them being my classy and beautiful friend Sarah, who, when she found herself needing to go to the bathroom didn't think, "Ah, yes, I will just walk myself over to the bathroom." Nope Sarah thinks, "Well, this nice bucket I'm sitting on works nicely as my seat, but I bet it would also work nicely as my toilet". And then, during a darker (and thankfully louder) part of the concert, Sarah tugs on her pants a little, buttons up her jacket and RELIEVES herself!

The 10 a.m. appointment showed up. He was 15 minutes early so he sat and talked to me for a little while and the whole time I kept thinking, "Wow, you are really really hot. You look like a really hot Cary Grant"...so much so that while we were talking I folded all the statements, sealed them in all the envelopes, put stamps on all the envelopes then proceeded to open back up all the envelopes. Finally he went into his appointment, and all I know is I have a pile of opened statements on my desk that need to be mailed out today.

Sharla is my co-worker who just turned 21 and is going to be a missionary. A favorite Mormon past-time is trying to figure out where potential missionaries will be sent. These guesses are based on little more then pre-conceived notions about the person and the country, but it is still considered a lot of fun in many parts of Utah. As a kind of graphic representation of this, we put up a little map with everyone's guesses for Sharla. Sharla is apparently an eastern bloc or southeast asia missionary, which is unfortunate, because I am the one who is attaching these guesses to the map. So for all intents and purposes it appears that Sharla will be going to some abstract centralish area of Europe. She will however have the full support of _____Chocolates behind her.

Last night I dreamed I was in a serious relationship with Eminem. Because I have never met Eminem in real life, and really don't consider myself much of an obsessed fan, my sub-conscious constructed an Eminem based on the one thing I am vaguely familiar with, the lyrics to Superman. In my dream, we met and I had the forsight to say:

"I'm not phazed,
I hang around big stars all day,
I don't see what the big deal is anyway,
You're just plain ol' Marshall to me..."

(Now in the song, this line really doesn't work for Eminem, but in my dream, Marshall was touched by my sincere efforts to get to know the real him.) But then came the clincher, I told him that it might not work because of our opposing beliefs. Fortunately, he was able to overcome drug abuse, alcoholism, sex, threats to moby, his x-wife and DMX and was like, "Yo, I want to be baptized." And by the end, we became Brother and Sister Slim Shady.

I think this is what comes of missing a church activity to go to your hip hop class AND falling asleep to Wu-Tang's "Killer Bees."

Couldn't we all use a week-end like this? Sadly, most of my friends have real babies.

Hey, looking for something to do in Provo? Well keep looking.

This weekend was filled with riotous living, running amok and overall peace disturbing, with four two-hour breaks to catch our breath and learn about good and evil.

Ha Ha Ha. I especially liked Dr. Elvis and Eduardo de Mello.

and...

I'm working on making my site cooler, so in the meantime, no one look at my ghetto other sites, 'cause they're ghetto. However you can look at this, which makes me laugh on a monthly basis.

P.S. If I catch any one of you looking at my stuff before it's ready, well then you had just better be afraid.

Please, please let me keep this job forever.

Me: Hello, _____ Chocolates.
Caller: (pause)
Me: Hell-O! ____ Chocolates.
Caller: Eez dis dee electrolleesis?
Me: Nope. We make chocolates.
Hairy Caller: Oh, you no have neeedles?
Me: Nope, just chocolate. Sorry