I apologize to everyone who has heard this story already, especially Brittany who has heard it no less than 47 times. Yesterday, starting at 1:41 p.m., all my conversations became one big broken record run-on sentence that went something like this:

Random Captive Audience: "Hi, Carolyn. How's it going?"
Me: "Oh my gosh. So I went to church yesterday and I was late and I ran in and took a seat, glanced up at the stand, and dude, Bo TOTALLY spoke in church yesterday. And when he got up to give his talk, I about started crying. I was already prepared to be overwhelmed regardless of what he said but when he started talking about humility and innocence, I got tears in my eyes. I was overcome. I have never stared so intently at a speaker in my life. And then after church I had to help with the ward Christmas dinner and I was standing outside the room waiting for the other ward to get out so I could start setting up when who should walk down the hall and stop RIGHT BY ME. That's right. And he said 'hey,' and I said...'hi'...and then I said, 'You've probably gotten this a lot today, but I really enjoyed your talk,' and he said, 'Thanks, I had to cut it down a lot.' And then he said, 'What's your name?' I said, 'Carolyn.' We shook hands, and then I asked what he was doing. He said he was helping with the Christmas dinner. I asked why. He said it was because he's part of the "special opps committee." I said, 'What do you guys do?' He said, 'Special operations, we have a special handshake.'"

Ahh, yes. My conversation with Bo. I'd like to give you all time to think about this and consider the implications.

Also, I'd like to apologize to the person who came to this site looking for information about "The Lexis and the Olive Tree." In my former life, I did care about things like issues and I would read books and think smart thoughts, but those days are long gone. I would like to share with you all the first words that came out of my mouth upon hearing that Saddam Hussein was captured.

"Wait, were we looking for him?"

All I would like to say is if you happen to catch me reading "Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game," just know that it happens to be a very good book.

You may be thinking, "But Carolyn, why are you posting anything. It's not like you've been to church since your last post. I thought your life revolved around that nacho cheese boy of yours." And to you I would say, "Why yes. Yes, that is exactly what it revolves around. I'm a mere shred of dignity away from changing this site's address to bo.blogspot.com." And then I would show you this link. And then I would ask you to pray with me that Bo never figures out how to google his own name because a nacho cheese conversation is always preferable to a "so you're obsessed with me" conversation.

I know you've all been waiting breathless with anticipation for this post, since SUNDAY was just the other day, and I have a new haircut, AND I have mastered my new haircut. So... just to fill you all in...

I left church on Sunday with the mortifying realization that my every movement, thought and word was in someway influenced by Bo because I'm a PSYCHO and that's just how I operate.

Here are some of the low points I sunk to on Sunday.

I got up to get a drink THREE times during our sunday school class so he could get a good FREAKING look at me as I passed him on the way out.

I sat on the far far right of the chapel to make sure he would be the one passing the sacrament to me and when he did, I kept my head down because I felt so stupid, but tried to make my hand look as graceful and attractive as possible as I took the tray.

I walked the LONG WAY around the church building so I could walk right behind him to the parking lot.

I passed the attendance roll the backwards instead of to the right just so he could get a better look at me.

Maybe next week I'll move away from the whole passive aggressive flirting thing, as fun as it's been, and actually TALK TO HIM.

(or possibly I will start cooking mushroom dumplings or waiting in blizzards. you never know.)