This week's highlights-You'd better be standing up if you're sitting down. It might make things a little more exciting.

Monday - Family Home Evening. Oh boy.
Tuesday - Got my hair cut here so now I look like this.
Wednesday - Blind Date: Round 2. Went here. Narrowly avoided doing this.
Thursday - See below. But also got this and this.
Friday - Well, Champion Car Care.
Saturday - TBA

Now wasn't that fun or is your mouse finger tired of clicking?

I have a raging head cold, so recognize that everything here was written under a dense haze of mucas.

Last night I got my very first flat tire. I sat in my car absolutely stunned because I had no idea how you go about changing a tire. I wasn't really worried. I had no feelings at all. I just kind of sat there. About 2 seconds later some nice guy named Deven pulled over and changed my tire for me. He checked my other tires and a bunch of other things. And then he followed me for awhile to make sure everything was okay. And then today, a nice co-worker, who used to be a mechanic or something, checked my car for me and got me a good deal at a tire place and told me what I need to do.

I'm sorry, this is a boring blog...but people can be so nice and I have a head cold. This is the best I can do.

Single? Unhappy?
Here are some options to think about.

My new friend Chris attracts the ladies, in particular my friend Tracy, with a special brand of love, involving fighter fish. If you too would enjoy having women all over you, first, ask them out. Then buy two beta fighter fish. Put them in the same bowl, or "arena," if you will, and watch them fight. This takes several hours. Apparently it works because Chris and Tracy shared this experience on a first date and now they are in love. (Do you all think I live in Amish country now, or is this normal?)

-or-

Try this. hee hee hee

Just so everyone is aware...my text is bolded and I don't know why. (Just an update...As soon as I learn how to cross things out, I will take care of the previous statement, but the rest still stands.) And my comments don't work all that great and I don't know why. And you know what else, I guess I'm supposed to be doing something with taxes. What this something is, I don't know. See, for my entire life I have been in school and thus, poor. But things are different this year and I am no longer in school. The boss is putting together W-2's and this makes me nervous.

And just for good measure, I found out what Y2K meant a month ago.

Keep reading my blogs if you dare.

The people I love and the television shows they love in return.

My Dad-"Walker: Texas Ranger" Sometimes, for extra kicks, my dad will sing the theme song while mowing the lawn or washing the dishes. And on a personal side note, his favorite movie is "Remo Williams," where the main character developes the ancient Chinese ability to dodge bullets...all without the use of stunt doubles or special effects. No, he's not THAT good, the movie's just really really ridiculously good.

My Mom-My mom is a closet fan of several shows so my sister and I had to be sneaky. For example, "The Real World New Orleans." For awhile my mom tried keeping up appearances, but when Kathryn and I were talking about who we hated worse Julie or Melissa and mom said, "I think Julie's a dork. Who says colored people anyways?" That's when she knew...Les Jeux Sont Fait...translation...The Game is Up. Other shows we're suspicious of..."Real World/Road Rules Battle of the Sexes," "Shipmates," and "Dawson's Creek."

My Sister-"Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and of course the Buffy spin-off "Angel." My sister owns every episode and catalogues them with personalized titles and summaries. For example "Amends" (season 3/episode 10) "Angel is tormented by his past and is saved by a Christmas miracle" or if that doesn't do it for you maybe try "Phases" (s2/e15) "Who's a werewolf? Who's a vampire? Who's gay?"

And then there's Grandma....Grandma likes "Ed," "Northern Exposure," "Twin Peaks," and "Dateline NBC."

Uhhhh, how can I have writer's block at this stage in the game? Well, I'll tell you how. A few months ago, one of our advertising execs had what you might call a dream, or a vision. He pictured a catalogue unlike any other. One that wasn't bound, or glued, or stapled or held together in any way. He envisioned a deck of cards. Although a beautiful idea in its conception, guess who the trained monkey is who gets to collate all 3967 brochures. All this trained monkey can do to keep sane is repeat to herself, "I am a paid trained monkey. I am a paid trained monkey." Although sometimes this causes me to loose count.

Oh yeah, and I saw this on Friday. Yay! It was really, really good and I sat alone in the theatre for awhile afterwards just to take it all in. And....for those of you keeping score at home, the only Chinese I managed to learn was "shrrrrr" which I think could mean "yes."

Answer me this: Why do people need to buy chocolates on Martin Luther King Jr. Day (or as we say in Utah, Human Rights Day)? It's not like it's Valentine's Day, or Mother's Day, or Christmas. How do chocolates help you celebrate the struggle for equality in the human race? I would like to invite all two of my readers not to buy chocolates today. Hopefully this will catch on so by next year I can celebrate the day thinking about human rights with my subconscious, in my bed, until noon.

I am stuck in a Taco Bell rut. I don't think I fully realized the implications of this until I went there today and tried to order something different. I wanted a Beef Grilled Stuff Burrito but when the girl said "Welcome to Taco Bell, would you like to try our new 7-Layer-Nachos?" all I said out of force of habit, "No, I would like a 7-Layer Burrito and a Bean Burrito." Like how at home when the phone used to ring, I'd invariably answer, "Thank you for calling _____. How can I help you?," in a lovely sing-song voice. Maybe on Monday, I had better try Subway.

The place where I work is so cold, the copier is my sole heat source. I sit huddled at my desk, trying to find something...anything....that needs to be copied. Memos, receipts, blank pieces of paper, pricelists. Especially pricelists. We use MULTIPLE pricelists. Then, like a modern-day little match girl, I raise my hands to the neon green glow and dream about working at a fireplace manufacturer's or maybe even the fiery depths of hell. But then the pricelist is copied and I am forced to come back to my cold reality, where chocolate is best stored at 64 degrees.

I wish everyday was Casual Friday...oh wait...it is.

You know you've got a well-trained boss when you wear a sweater to work and he tells you how nice you look and asks if you're going somewhere. And the uncanny thing is....you are.

Why I should keep my resume current.

Walk into M.'s office for some labels. What is M. doing? If you guessed pressing on lids of empty boxes of chocolates because they make quacking sounds when you do that, well...then you'd be correct. (Which in my book is kind of a hollow victory) Quality chocolates doubling as quality duck hunting accessories. It appears we are diversifying.

Jan. 10 - Jan. 12 "The Highlights" (Oh, and there are many.)

Friday Night: I attempt to intimidate Blind Date by ordering oyster shooters, and then actually EATING THEM. However, my plan backfires when BD says he finds it adventurous and unique. BD spends the remainder of the night trying to convince me that he too is adventurous because he cheated in the second grade. I spend the night letting the little oyster swim inside my stomach, while alternately telling BD that I am actually a VERY BORING PERSON and pretending that I am really just a contestant on the TV show "Blind Date."

Saturday Afternoonish: After watching "Catch Me If You Can" we make a little stop at the bathroom. Later, when my sister asks if I "fell in," I have to tell her yes. Because I did.

Sunday Really, Really AM!: I listen to Bro. Reicher talk about how pornography is very bad. I am sitting on the front row. He says it is anything that "excites sexually." And I wonder if Vin Diesel counts.

Did it work?

I guess, errr, the alien template does work. I am a computer GENIUS!

It is 10:44 p.m. Ummm, I'm still here. Not only am I not in bed, but I am not seeing "Aliens Stole My Wallet" as a template. Super. It's amazing how I can drop 10 to 15 computer skills a minute, when it gets to be this time of night, which is strange when I only had about five to begin with. Uhhh, yep lose the math skillzz too.

It is 10:10 p.m. and I am in the Tanner building. All I have wanted to do since I woke up this morning is go to bed. I sat at work pretending to figure out Peachtree, but really I was just thinking about when I could go to bed again. Tonight I pretended to talk to some people. (I did, however, fully attend a dance audition.) And now I am pretending to type a blog. Oh, geez, this site is poetry.